I am not a special days type of guy.  My take on most of them is that they’re creations of marketing people at the nation’s greeting card and floral retailers.  Unless they fall on a weekend or holiday, I still have to get up and go to work.  Every day is just the same.

That’s why it bothers me that on February 14 I’m expected to go out and buy a card and bring home flowers or heart-shaped boxes of candy.  And in my case, I’m not only married, but I’ve three daughters and three granddaughters.  In two different states.

As if bringing these things home made some sort of statement – like, “I love you” or something.

Sure, my girls think its cool to get a card and a box of chocolates.  They’ll smile and thank me and, if they’re present, give me a hug and a kiss.  And I’ll think that, ‘Well, I did what I was supposed to do today.’

The thing that bugs me about special days though, is that what we are expected to do on those days is really what we ought to be doing every day.  No, I don’t mean buying cards and candy and flowers.  What I mean is – in my relationship with Barb for instance, I’m supposed to be loving her every day anyway.  And I am supposed to be demonstrating it in real and tangible ways.

Like washing dishes for her.

What if,  on Valentine’s Day, instead of a card or flowers, guys all over the U. S. came home and said, “Honey, tonight I’m doing the dishes for you.”  Imagine how that would go over.  Or, “This afternoon. we’re going shopping together!”  Or, “How about dinner tonight-just the two of us?”

Better yet, getting up every day after February 14 and treating her with dignity and understanding, considering her wants, needs, likes and dislikes.  Isn’t this what God had in mind when He instituted marriage?

The truth is, everyday is a day to love your wife.  To relegate it to some special day is cute and maybe a little unique (cards and candy and flowers would get old after a while), but it won’t go very far for a meaningful marriage.

To me, that only happens when a man’s relationship with his wife is patterned after the Bible, which tells husbands to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her “ (Ephesians 5:25). And, “Husbands . . . be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect” (I Peter 3:7).

To my knowledge, nowhere is Scripture is loving your wife confined to a single day.  That tells me I get to do this on a daily basis, 365 days a year.

To my Barb’s credit, she knows all this.  Though I might surprise her, she is much less inclined to be looking for those flowers on February 14 than on, say, March 3, or May 14, or November 11.  Because she knows that I know that to be true to God and her, these kinds of visible expressions of love and care ought to be happening on regular, run-of-the-mill days.

That’s why to me, Valentine’s Day is just another day I get to love my wife.